Please stop. No, really, please stop. I applaud and accept your choice to choose roles based on entertainment values as opposed to artistic merit. They have in fact shown you the money; which, in a declining economy is a good thing. However, most of America has stopped paying to see your movies, therefore, stop. Stop playing the hero of a far fetching plot who must save the world, his big butt/asian/big boobied, girlfriend or daughter. I believe that you, the studio, your agents, and the directors (I forgive the writers, they likely spent many years as starving artists) of these films have lost touch with reality.
Speaking of unrealistic, lets talk about your hair (taupe), fake bake, veneers, and botox. Please stop. Please, no more orange skin, ridiculous faux-mullet/aging rocker cuts, and the teeth; they have gotten bigger, whiter, and scarier over the years. Yes, I saw "Something about Mary" too, but no, big teeth are not sexy, nor are they beautiful when they glow in the dark. I beg of you sir, give wrinkles a chance. They can be distasteful, but having them gives you a range of expression that goes beyond puppy dog eyes, quivering lips, and whatever else you call the 5 expressions that you do over and over again during all of your movies since "Leaving Las Vegas."
Sir, you were once a good actor with your choice of roll, loyal audience, and varying facial movement. Now, you are orange, fauxed, and your teeth glow in the dark; your audience left you long ago, probably escorted by your hair. But, you have a chance to change things before you become Harry Hamlin. Don't let us down, back out of your up-coming disasters and sign on for something out of your norm.
Thank you, The Latte Diaries
p.s. Maybe you could play a aging rocker in your next film, something poignant and inspiring. Or, an astronaut on a doomed mission ( no asteroids, city destroying explosions allowed nor invasions), something like Apollo 13, good old fashioned entertainment with a sci-fi twist.
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